So JLaw is celebrity me.
Me: “What browser are you on?”
Me: “Google Chrome?”
Client: “No, just regular Google.”
Me: “That’s the site. I want to know the browser.”
Client: “Look, we can have this conversation forever, man. But when I hit the internet logo, Google comes up!”
Me: “Okay…What does that “internet logo” look like?
Client: “…A fiery fox, I guess. But that’s irrelevant.”
I don’t know how some girls are 100% straight like have you seen girls
If you’re ever worried that you fucked up real bad, just remember that there are over 2,500 reported cases of vacuum cleaner-induced genital trauma in the United States each year.
It’s only your first comic con, Benedict. And there’s already so many dick jokes.
adult’s movies: sex, explosions, yelling, cheap love story
kid’s movies: deep heart-wrenching death, moments where you question your own values, humor, adult jokes splashed in, the secret to the entire universe, sometimes explosions too
"I dunno man, kid’s movies are just kinda dumb"
have u ever watched a good adult movie or did u just watch transformers and think, ‘yep this is as good as it’s gonna get’
I’m too horny for the amount of sex I’m not having.
the first person to ever fall asleep was probably like “aw fuck i’m dying” but then woke up hours later and was like “aw yeah that’s the shit i do like”
That’s it that’s the whole show.